Day 1: Airports.
Our vacation began at 5:30pm on Monday, Oct. 29. We left for the airport for a 7:50 p.m. flight. Upon arriving at the airport at 6 p.m. and electronically checking in for our flight, we found out that our intinarary was wrong. Our flight was leaving at 7 p.m., not 7:50. Good thing we got there early. So our first flight was an hour jaunt from Oakland to LAX. Then we had to wait 3 hours for our next flight from LAX to Papeete, Tahiti. Air Tahiti Nui is a GREAT airline. The food could be better (gummy quesadilla, anyone?) but the plane itself is awesome. Plus, because the airline is subsidized by the Tahiti government, they don't sell discount fares to fill the plane, so there are plenty of empty seats if you want to lay down and stretch out. So a short 8.5 hours later, we land in Tahiti. And a short 50 minutes later we make it though customs. This left us a whopping 30 minutes to check in for our next flight to Bora Bora. Through some "stupid American" acting on my part, we were able to check in to our flight from a much shorter (and incorrect) line rather than the LONG line for the flight to Bora Bora. Another 1.25 hours later, we land on Motu Mute (the airport in Bora Bora). Finally, we're there.... Well, almost. You then have to take a boat from Motu Mute to the main island of Bora Bora. Then a bus to the hotel. After 18 short hours of travel, we finally make it to Club Med. In the span of 30 minutes after arriving at the resort, Kim steps on a bee, and I stub my toe on some coral and somehow manage to not apply sunscreen to my shoulders, resulting in a painful and odd-looking burn.
The mad rush of tired Frenchies and Yanks to the plane to Bora Bora.
You haven't lived until you've flown in a prop plane to a spit of sand in the middle of the ocean and landed on a runway covered with Tupa crabs.
The window was a little dirty on the boat from the airport to the main island. Also, it was a little more gloomy than we were expecting. It rained on the bus ride to the resort, but quickly cleared up. Gotta love the tropics.
Finally here. No, that's not our hotel. Just the view of the more expensive hotel from ours. I believe that was the Bora Bora Beachcomber Resort.
One of the local residents. These geckos were everywhere. And contrary to popular belief, they do not have British accents, nor do they offer lower car insurance rates.
A shot of Club Med. It's a pretty big resort. Very nice, too.
The view from our spit of beach 3 steps from our room.
Our first sunset in paradise.
Day 2: Snorkeling.
Our days in Bora Bora pretty much revolved around food. Our schedule went something like this: 8 a.m.-ish, wake up, roll out of bed and eat breakfast. Get back to the room about 9 a.m.-ish, take a nap. Wake up around 11:30-ish, read a book or watch TV until 12:30. Eat lunch. Go back to the room about 1:30 p.m. Take a nap. Wake up about 2:30-ish and do some activity. Get back to the room some time around 5ish. Read or nap until 7:30 p.m. Eat dinner. After dinner, walk the entire length of the resort. About 8:45-ish either go back to the room and watch one of the DVDs we brought with us or watch the campy show the Club Med crew would perform at 9:30. Usually go to bed around 11 p.m. It was sheer torture...ha. On this particular day, we decided to do the Club Med snorkeling trip.
Me walking down the dock to the boat that takes you out to the reef. You'll notice I'm wearing my $60 shirt I bought at the Club Med boutique because I burned myself due to the above-mentioned inattentive sunblock application.
Club Med has a photograhper on staff to take photos of you during your trip. Yes, they cost extra.
A school of fish waiting to be fed some stale french bread.
The ever elusive Kimfish. They're very skittish and difficult to capture on film. This one swam away after the camera flash went off.
One of my favorite tropical fishes. This is a Moorish Idol. Don't ask me why they're called that. I assume at some point in history, the Moors idolized these fish.
Kim getting swarmed by fish trying to eat the French Bread. Click on the pic below to view the video.
According to my handy free fish guide, I believe this is a Smooth Flutemouth.
Lots of tropical fish. I don't know what they are because I can't find them in the book.
A better shot of the Moorish Idol.
There were cool-looking blue-frilled clams everywhere.
Day 3: The Great Flood and the 4x4 adventure.
We woke up to the overwhelming sound of water lapping up on the beach. A little unexpected, since the water outside is technically a lagoon and not the Pacific Ocean, and is generally glass-smooth. Turns out the island has one high tide a year, and we happened to be there that day. It pretty much cleaned out all of the junk in the lagoon and washed it up on the beach. Conversely, it removed all the sand on the beach and deposited it elsewhere in the lagoon. Luckily, the day before we had signed up for a 4x4 trip around the island, so we weren't bothered by the wacky water situation.
Some of the local Tupa crabs escaping the rising water.
Normally the water is about a foot or two lower than it is here. It actually got worse as the day went on.
Our chariot awaits. There are two types of cars in Bora Bora: tiny French-made Peugeot 206s or 100-year-old Land Rovers. This one had definately led a hard life driving the backcountry roads.
This photo doesn't do the colors justice. The water was so much more blue in person.
That is Mt. Otemanu. It is said the mountain has never been successfully climbed. Apparently, the volcanic rock is much too brittle and it crumbles easily.
This was our kickass guide for the day. His name was Stanislaus (yeah, not kidding). But of course he went by the obvious and popular nickname for those named Stanislaus. Yeah, Rocky (no kidding).
Kim and I posing for a pic.
Rocky would have fit in with the best of California drivers. We were actually driving over some very rough trail when he answered his phone. I almost bounced out of the truck several times while he was on the phone.
This is Motu Mute, or the airport. This runway was originally built by the American troops during WWII. It's the island's only airport.
Here you can see the ferry boat leaving the airport on its way to the main town of Vaitape. It's about a 15-minute ride.
Here's one of the four gun positions the Americans built during the war. Each position had two 7-inch guns. Our travel guide said it took 400 troops using blocks and tackles to yank each gun up the hill and into place.
Amazing that the gun is in such great shape, especially considering it was made in 1908. And if I'm reading the marking right, I believe it says it weighs 29,753 pounds.
I've got the enemy's hotel targeted, sir.
Here's Rocky preparing a pineapple for us for a lunchtime snack. I have to say the pineapples there taste 1,000 times better than here. Kim and I easily ate 3 pineapples each during our trip.
Rocky removing the pineapple's eyes. Apparently it looked at him wrong.
And the finished product. He also cut up some really tasty grapefruit. This couple was from the west coast of Australia. We ran into them several times at the resort. Super nice.
Kim and I with Mt. Otemanu in the background. Starting at the left side of the photo and following the ridge around to where we're sitting is the edge of the caldera. The water in the middle is where the lava used to come out. Thankfully, no lava has come out in a couple million years.
The aftermath of the high tide. There were coconuts (or in French, noix de coco) everywhere.
Normally, the water only comes up to the edge of the wall on the far left of the photo.
These Tahitian gardenias were everywhere. Very pretty and smelled wonderful.
Day 4: Belvedere hike and Motu "Pokey".
Because of the high tide the previous day, the lagoon was still pretty rough and very cloudy. So we decided to just hang out and relax on the private beach that Club Med owns on nearby Motu Piti Aau. But first, we started the day off with a hike up to a vista point named Belvedere.
According to my guide to animals on Bora Bora, this is not a chicken. It is a Jungle Fowl. They're everywhere.
Ahh, Belvedere. Kim has a special place in her...uh, heart...for this trail of doom.
Not only was it painfully hot and humid, but extremely slippery, as the sign denoted. Kim ended up slipping and falling on her butt on a very hard rock. She thought she had broken her coccyx.
The stunning view from the top of the peak. I thought it was worth it. Kim's bottom did not.
I finally figured out how to use the timer on the camera. Yay self-portrait.
The only other reptile life on the island. These little skinks were everywhere and very suicidal. I almost stepped on at least half a billion of them.
Here's a pic Kim covertly took of one of the resort workers. If you've ever seen the Adam Sandler movie "50 First Dates," you'll get this reference. Anyway, we kept secretly calling this guy Rob Schneider because he remided us of the character he played in the movie. Here's a side-by-side shot so you can compare.
A shot from the water of Motu Piti Aau. This was the private beach Club Med owned. However, due to the high tide the day before, the entire beach was covered with lots of sharp dead coral. Ergo, we named it Motu Pokey. There was one solitary guy with a rake futilely cleaning the beach.
Kim standing in 4 feet of water. This was about 50 yards out from the beach. You could almost walk the entire 1.5 miles across the lagoon from the motu back to Club Med.
A panoramic shot of the lagoon. Click on the pic below to view the video.
The now traditional self-portrait shot. And another view of Mt. Otemanu in the background.
Every time we walked from our room to the main "village" of the resort, we would pass this guy. It's a Tupa crab we came to name Monsieur Pincier. I know it doesn't look like it, but these things can run FAST.
Kim and I posing with Neptune and his harem of mermaids.
Every day was a different-themed meal at the resort. This night I believe was "Ocean". How that's different from the other nights of "Island" and "Tahitian" I don't know, but it was. This night they had a marlin that one of the locals had caught that day. It was very tasty. These two chefs were hilarious.
Day 5: Kayaking & Sunset Cruise.
Alas, another day of doing nothing. Our main source of exercise this day was kayaking. We ended up paddling out about a mile. We almost made it to the motu, but the currents were pretty strong that day and it seemed the harder we paddled, the slower we went. So we ended up turning around and coming back for a nap. Later on we went on a champagne sunset cruise, complete with chocolate-covered strawberries, and stale Doritos and Cheetos.
Kim paddling her heart out.
Me not paddling, making Kim do all the work.
There are a ton of stray dogs on the island. There were two that hung around the resort. We called them Island Mommy and Island Daddy. This is Island Mommy with her puplets. One we called Smacky, one was Nosey, one was Puplet 3, and the last one was Mr. Muzzlepuffs.
The crew jamming out on ukuleles.
Beautiful catamaran sailing into the sunset.
I don't know what the deal was with the Cheetos and Doritos. They tasted like they had come over on the slow boat from America... With the packaging open the entire way. Also... Who thought champagne and Cheetos went together as a tasty combo?
Here's a nice animated pic of the sunset. Just click on the photo to watch.
Day 6: Nothing.
We pretty much just sat around this day reading books and relaxing in the sun. Later that night, the resort had a traditional Tahitian group come out and dance for us. They also picked unsuspecting suckers out of the audience to dance with them.
See! I really can read.
Here are the guys doing their intimidating battle dance deal.
After the dancing, they did some traditional games. This one was to see who could climb a tree the best. Other events included cleaning all the meat out of a coconut the fastest, and also who could husk a coconut with their teeth. Needless to say, very few of them had a full set of teeth.
The other traditional crucible was to pick up a 76kg rock. One kilogram is 2.2 pounds, so that was a 167-pound rock!
This guy was able to hoist it up to his shoulder.
They made the Aussie start off small first.
Then they gave him the big one to try. He ended up getting it. Though I think he burst some pretty important blood vessels in the process.
The bigger of the locals then moved on to a larger rock. Take a close look at the guy's right hand. Yeah, that's right. Seven fingers. Good thing he lives in a warm area. I think finding a 7-fingered glove would be impossible.
Personally, I think he cheated because the 2 extra fingers gave him a better grip on the rock.
Then the girls came out and did their dance. I have to say I felt a little creepy taking pics, since the girl up front was eleventeen years old.
The guys then came out and did the Charleston.
This is John, from Chicago. We ended up spending a lot of time with John and his wife Janice. They were on the 4x4 trip with us a few days earlier. Here poor John got roped into dancing with the girls.
And another poor sucker got picked from the audience.
Kim said I was the best dancer out there. I think she's now required by law to say everything I attempt is the best she's ever seen.
This poor guy got picked out of the audience too. He had no clue what to do and ended up just pretty much standing in place doing the "white guy bounce".
Then he got surrounded by the dancers. I thought they were going to rumble, but the guy just ended up bouncing up and down again, and that seemed to appease the gang of hula dancers.
And of course, the night would not be complete with a little fire.
One guy standing on the back of the other.
He called this move the "banana barbeque".
At this point, so much gasoline from the torches had flung onto us in the front row, I had nightmares of being set ablaze by an errant fire baton.
And the finale. Inspired by Abu Ghraib naked prisoner pyramids, this was called the half-naked flaming Tahitian ziggurat.
Kim and I with the crew.
Day 7: Lagoon Discovery & a sailing lesson.
Kim's mom specifically told me NOT to take Kim to feed the sharks. Luckily, Kim took ME to feed the sharks. This was one of the coolest things I've ever gotten to experience. Normally when you see sharks in the aquarium, they're scary, but there's that sense of security because of the thick glass between you and them. Here we had a rope to protect us. We were told to stay on one side of the rope while the guide would throw large chunks of bloody fish on the other side of the rope. I don't know how the sharks know to stay on their side of the rope, but we trusted they would honor this gentlemen's agreement.
Here's the guy chumming for sharks.
The black-tips coming around for their free meal of tuna and tourist.
Once they were in a feeding frenzy, we were told to jump into the water...all the while being mindful to stay behind the rope.
This little guy was probably 5 feet long.
As if sharks stirred up into a feeding frenzy wasn't cool enough, then a group of sting rays showed up and started swimming below us.
Nope, no zoom used on this shot. This pit bull of the sea was only a foot and a half away from me.
Here you can see there are 6 sharks in the photo. There were probably 3 or 4 more outside the shot.
In the middle of the sharks swimming in front of us and the sting rays below us, Kim and I noticed a group of fish between us. We both looked at the same time and saw a large piece of chum floating between us with these guys nibbling at it. We freaked out thinking the sharks would come over on our side of the rope to get it. Luckily, we quickly pushed it to the shark side of the rope and we were safe once again.
After the sharks were done eating all of the bait, the guide told us, "OK, everyone cross the rope and swim with the sharks!" As soon as the first hand crossed the rope, every single shark darted off, never to been seen again that day. This is a thong-finned Kim shark.
My other all-time favorite tropical fish. The clown fish.
A very colorful trigger fish.
This is Leo, the son of the guy who chummed for the sharks. Yes, that is a live octopus in his hand.
And yes, that is Kim's hand suctioned to the octopus.
Raiders fans say real men wear black. I say real men wear octopusses. Or is it octopi?
We all got back into the boat and drove a total of 20 yards. We all jumped back into the water and swam through a beautiful coral garden. I can't remember what kind of fish this is, but he looks like he's wearing blue lipstick.
Another lipstick fish with some beautiful brain coral behind it.
Some colorful surgeon fish.
Kim hand-feeding the fish some bread.
